Monday, 7 May 2012

The Land of the Poms: Part 1


Due to the enormity of my new writing hobby I over did myself on the accounts of my travels to England during the past May holiday. Therefore I have decided under the great guidance of my new editor Mr Jessop Senior to make a trilogy. Many thanks dad and to everyone else, enjoy part one.  

The 30th of April, Queens Day in Holland was the start of my journey to England and Murphy’s Law states that on the day of your departure the weather is always good. This made it that much harder for me knowing the day was as fine as they come. What’s more, my big bag which I used to travel over to Holland from South Africa  has a wheel that was starting to break and it was the only bag I had. It was fine going to Schipol Airport but over the course of the week it slowly deteriorated...

I landed in rainy London at exactly the same time I took off in Amsterdam due to the time difference. Who said time travel didn’t exist? I then caught a bus to Winchester where my Aunt and Uncle have a flat that they so kindly let me use for the week. I managed to watch the Manchester derby that night in a English pub which saw City pretty much win the title. The following day I woke up to rain. It’s such a horrible prospect that I ended the sentence there so as not to ruin the ambiance of this one. But I found an umbrella and had a look around town. Winchester is a very historic and old town ( City?!!) which houses the famous round table that King Arthur and his brave knights allegedly squatted around while chatting about their many treacherous adventures. Too bad he didn’t exist. There is a great big Cathedral in the town centre which is stunning and just walking up the main street is both tiring and lovely as it is on a pretty steep hill with old buildings all around. To my amazement and to that of most of the locals as well the sun came out that afternoon and soon everyone was prancing around in shorts and t-shirts, including me. I think I’m becoming a proper European as I savoured that sunlight as if it was a friend I hadn’t seen in years! I had dinner that evening with Thea Smith and her friends. I will be travelling across India with her at the end of the year! There is so much to look forward to, even more to be thankful for and everything to live for.

My now semi-broken bag was on the verge of completely losing one of its wheels. This made walking down the cobbled main street of Winchester to where the bus stop was a social nightmare. It was too big to carry for the entire distance so I dragged it instead with the broken wheel doing exactly what one wheel on every single shopping trolley does: not work. To explain the sound in words is somehow difficult but it would be something like this, gruuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhclankgruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuulots.of.phlemgruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. People at the other end of the street  stopped what they were doing to see who had started the road works. But I survived the humiliation and got onto my bus to Oxford. I stayed with a wonderful South African couple who I have a small history with. Gareth Mellon was my baby-sitter when I was young and both he and Alison his wife attended the same church as my family. In fact my mom taught her at Sunday school. Gareth was also lucky enough to have attended the best school in the world, Wynberg. I saw his name almost every day up on the ‘Academic of the year’ board in our hall for the year 2000. No wonder he’s at Oxford now.
 It’s possible that the best way to be taken around Oxford is by an actual student. They can get you into all the colleges that visitors usually have to pay for and they can tell you all about the ins and outs of college life as an Oxford student which in my opinion is fantastic. The whole system they have going there with all the different colleges  each with its own history, traditions and campuses just seems so attractive to me. Some of the buildings date as far back as the 11th century and look astonishing. The first one I was able to see was Christ Church which is probably one of the most famous -and not just because its dining hall was used in the renowned movie series Harry Potter as the Great Hall in Hogwarts. Christ Church is extremely old and is the only college to have a Cathedral, which is considered part of the college. Every other college only has a Chapel but they all still function and students or visitors can attend their services every week. Another thing about Oxford is their strange obsession with rowing as displayed by every college having its own boat house next to the river Thames or the Isis which is what Oxfordians call it while lifting their chins and feeling chuffed with themselves. Some students spend most of their student lives at Oxford getting their bottoms damp racing up and down the river and it made me wonder when they study. And if they aren’t busy getting wet bollocks then they are more than likely making the air moist at a typical Oxford debate. Gareth took me along to two very interesting debates right after each other. By the end of the second I felt right proud of myself for being able to follow at least half of what was said. I wasn’t however brave enough to stand up and ask a question or make my point of view heard during the audiences ‘response’ especially when every student that stood up felt the need to say what they were majoring in, or that they were a Doctor in this and that and were busy writing their third PhD in their spare time before actually getting on with their point. I feared that saying ‘Hi, I’m Peter and I just finished high school’ might have raised an eyebrow or two. I was disappointed that I never made it into University College, as this is where my genius uncle Sam was   when he studied at Oxford but I did make it into New College which is old, St John’s which is wealthy and Brasenose which is Gareth’s college. He even took me into the post graduates lounge and made me some chilli hot chocolate and I felt very important. I also made it into the mysterious All-Souls College which isn’t really a college as it doesn’t accept under or over graduates, only those who get invited to write an impossible test and then if they pass this impossible test get accepted but this is like one student a year, or not even that. What they do there I don’t know, but I do know that C.S Lewis was a Fellow there and everyone has read his book ‘The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe’ which may be closer to Oxford than you think. Directly opposite the side door to the Church that Lewis attended in Oxford there is a door that leads into one of the buildings of Brasenose and carved into the wooden door is a lion. On either side of the door there are two half-man half-goat creatures called fauns or ‘Mr Tumnus’ and then just down the lane you will find a single lamp post. Coincidence I think not. It’s these little gems that are scattered all over Oxford and which make it so rich and attractive. Blackwell’s bookstore is the first bookstore I almost got lost in and is the first bookstore that could keep me interested for more than an hour of browsing. Basically it is huge. Going to Oxford is like eating sushi; the portions are small yet extremely well presented and have fancy names for everything that probably mean nothing but sound la-di-dah.  However after one bite you can’t help but feel satisfied. Needless to say I ate handsomely. 

My two wonderful nights in Oxford were soon over and I had to make my way to the bus stop which was in the centre of town which is about a twenty minute walk away from the Mellon’s. Well in my usual dignified manner I sort of dosed off that morning and forgot all about the time as both Gareth and Alison had gone to London and before I knew it, it was ten minutes before my bus was supposed to depart. I rushed out the house with broken bag and all. I decided to wear my tracksuit pants as they are more comfortable to travel in than jeans but I didn’t know I would be running to the station in which case my loose choice in clothing was slipping down past my knees.  I wasn’t properly able to save my dignity on each occasion that my tracksuit pants slipped down as I was carrying my broken bag in my arms to avoid loss of hearing to the general public. Sadly I was unable to protect the public against my loss of dignity. I made it though and travelled safely back to Winchester where later one of my best friends from Cape Town who is doing his gap-year in England greeted me! Ryan White J Seeing a familiar face after being in a strange place for a long time is like the first sightings of new life in spring after the barren winter. Sadly the weather didn’t copy what was going on in my mind and it rained. We went out that night to an English pub and ate fish and chips with Thea and some of her friends. It was immense fun. A great foreshadowing for what would take place the following day.















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